Evening All, or none,

Disclaimer: As ever, I don’t promise this will flow, or make sense. Sometimes when you need somewhere for yourself, those don’t happen.

It has been a long time since I was last here. I doubt that anyone other than myself knows this exists, I mean I forget about it for long enough. However, we all need somewhere to go, somewhere to say what we need to say.

I am not sure what I need. Simple things are easy, sure – but I have become fairly alone. I have my girlfriend, who I love but can’t help them as much as I should, I have family, many miles away, and I have work colleagues, who don’t really know me – I can’t really open up to them.

For once, I haven’t retreated here because of sadness. For now at least, I am not sad, but retrospective. This is somewhere, which while I might not be able to say everything I want to, I can say more than I can say in most places.

I think back now to Sarah 1, back in the old days (yes, I am old now, ok?). Many people thought she was attractive, but she would never see that herself. I have spent much time thinking the same about myself, although I would feel that others made me feel better about myself than did she; and now I think I am ok looking, although wonder why so few people do like me. There must be a reason right?


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