So. This my third attempt at making a blog post, each post on separate issues. I know how I feel, but I don’t know how to express it.
I guess I still don’t, but this time at least I am saying there is something there.
Yesterday, I took off my necklace for the first time in at least a week, maybe two weeks. In about a weeks time, I think 9 days or so, I will put it back on, as then I can change its meaning.
I was a fool, but nothing new there. On the upside, I broke my fall when I tripped up yesterday. Small steps I guess. I also said something I have wanted to say for a long time. (Wow, 9 days was exactly right!) Ok, so the scope was the day, but still.
I followed Step 1 and 2. Now what? I don’t know.
I guess Trigger is right, I am a pushover. Maybe Andy is right, I am too nice. However, there is the other side as well. I understand why you would run away…
I am sorry. Its not enough, but I don’t know what else to say. Someone said be the change you want to see in the world. So I guess even if others are going to fuck me over, then I need to fix myself before judging them.
I wish I had absolute faith in an idea. Any idea. But I don’t, and I think that it is comforting for those who do.
I wonder if this will still make sense to even me later?