Evening All, or none,
Disclaimer: As ever, I don’t promise this will flow, or make sense. Sometimes when you need somewhere for yourself, those don’t happen.
It has been a long time since I was last here. I doubt that anyone other than myself knows this exists, I mean I forget about it for long enough. However, we all need somewhere to go, somewhere to say what we need to say.
I am not sure what I need. Simple things are easy, sure – but I have become fairly alone. I have my girlfriend, who I love but can’t help them as much as I should, I have family, many miles away, and I have work colleagues, who don’t really know me – I can’t really open up to them.
For once, I haven’t retreated here because of sadness. For now at least, I am not sad, but retrospective. This is somewhere, which while I might not be able to say everything I want to, I can say more than I can say in most places.
I think back now to Sarah 1, back in the old days (yes, I am old now, ok?). Many people thought she was attractive, but she would never see that herself. I have spent much time thinking the same about myself, although I would feel that others made me feel better about myself than did she; and now I think I am ok looking, although wonder why so few people do like me. There must be a reason right?
This is going to be a ramble, so don’t expect things to link from one section to another particularly.
Sometimes, I do what I do, because I do think it is right. In fact, I would go as far as say that with most of what I do; I have good intentions. I think about myself at times, but that isn’t all I am doing, I don’t think anyway.
I sometimes wish people would be more honest – not lie in an attempt to be nice. Sometimes things are binary, one or another, and while I don’t care if you sugar-coat things, don’t lie to try and be nice. Evidence suggests I am right, you can either disprove it with personal views, or accept that you can’t prove I am wrong.
Everything goes away, I could fade away too easily. I am (or can be) reliable, but this can be to my disadvantage, for some reason over time I have been replaced, for some reason I am not needed in the forefront, so if I am not there I am easy to replace.
This is going to be basically a place where I knock around theories about how Sherlock survived his death. I don’t think I am going to guess it, Moffit’s comments make me think that it is not going to be possible to tell how it was done unless you play it back, frame by frame, zoomed in – however I want somewhere to say – ‘I called that!’ if any of my ideas are right (I am sure some clever sod has already considered these – you will have to take me on my word these are my own ideas):
- There is a new wound or similar on Sherlock’s neck, a red spot about half a centimetre which appeared to be more darker at the end (could just be the lighting). I couldn’t spot it earlier in the episode, and on the roof top, it was there but not as red.
- I don’t think he did anything in the air. He either didn’t fall, or fell but survived.
More to come maybe
Sorry to disappoint you all, only commenting on the recent news stories about the ‘leaked’ picture. I wouldn’t say no ofcourse, she is hot – but I am not that lucky :p
So, the website that leaked the picture (NSFW) claims it is genuine, because “The wood paneling on her bedroom walls suggest that she is in some sort of top of the line trailer (possibly a double-wide) which only a hoity-toity country star like Taylor Swift would splurge on.”. From my TEC years, I never saw wood panelling that was exclusive to trailers – but the real clinch is in “Add to that, the fact that the girl in the photo has strawberries on her panties and Taylor Swift has been known to eat strawberries”. I ‘have been known to eat strawberries’ and I don’t have any underwear with strawberries on, so if any photos of me in my underwear leak, I might be safe.
Honestly, what is the world coming to!
I am not like other people. Or at least the standard rules that apply to most people don’t seem to apply to me. This is not bad, as such, nor good, just is. Different. Or maybe not? I don’t know, I am nothing special, at all, yet people seem take illogical risks without reason.
Why would you not go out with someone?
– Not attracted physically to them
– Personality clash
– Wrong circumstances.
Number one and three is most likely, and where number three can be proved not to hold, then usually is going to be number 1, right? As if number 2 / something wrong with mental connection, then a friendship won’t work, right?
But then if we assume that is correct, then various things make even less sense. Not to mention outside information would point to number 1 (statistics and so forth).
There was a time. Back when I was young and innocent. I was dating a girl called Sarah, Sarah 3. It had turned out that I had information she had cheated on me while I was in Belgium. I had a friend called Steve…
So it was break time. Me and Steve had a plan to confront Sarah. It went like this:
Steve: Did you know Sarah is cheating on you?
Me: Oh really? *looks interested*
Sarah: OMG, I never, honestly, oh, I love you, I never!
*Sarah huddles into Robert*
Sarah: Ok, so I did, but I wrote a letter, I am so sorry!
I basically say she lied, so I couldn’t trust her, so that was that.
So this is the first in what is likely to be many posts where I recall a memory from the past. Some will be accurate depictions of events, others will have names or places changed where it is needed to keep certain things secret.
I had a friend, called Tomas. This wasn’t his real name, but it was the name that everyone in the UK knew him as. I met him via a game, which was called Face of Mankind. We got talking off the game, and then eventually met in real life, him coming to the UK. We got on even better than we had online, and a beautiful friendship started.
Further down the line, then there was a point. There was a girl, there always is. This one is known as Anya. She went out with Tom, and they were happy, for a while. But then, as time went on, they became less happy, there were Russians, and Dans, and all sorts. I remember one time, when Tom came to the UK, last minute notice to see Anya, to try and stop their relationship falling apart.
I have learnt a lot from Tom…
In light of the current space I have available, and generally because I am a nice guy, then I am willing to offer hosting of blogs for the followers of this blog. So if you fancy having your own blog like this, which you can set to look like whatever you want, and do almost anything with, please e-mail me, comment on this post, or contact me in some way.
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Things are going well, for the most part. Need to move out, not just because I can’t afford the rent, but because this place has too many memories. It was mine and Abi’s place, now not only is there no me and Abi, but she has gone, and I need to leave as well. But I am making reasonable progress in finding somewhere new to live.
However, the other problem is not so easy to solve. I miss having someone in my life who makes me feel special. I think I am useful to some people, but that is it, there is always those who cheer them up better, those with bigger muscles, those who are better looking, and so on. It is important to note that while I am giving examples of people to people, then this is not because of ‘feelings’ for any of the people, for the most part there is not really anyone who I like like, there are a few old flames around, but nothing I think will ever go anywhere, and no-one I am currently infatuated with. Maybe that is part of the problem, but I feel that while I would do almost anything for some people, then sometimes they won’t do the same back. I should make it clear this is not a failing on their behalf, I just am willing to do too much. It would just be nice if someone made me feel special, if it was I they couldn’t wait to talk to, I wasn’t just the one who was there.